Candyass Red Christmas 2017

We’re in the red this holiday season, and that’s a good thing. Come to the show and find out why 😉

 

vendredi le 15 dec
Friday Dec 15
1230 boul st laurent
2ieme etage
portes ouvert 21h doors open 9pm
spectacle 22h showtime 10pm

https://twitter.com/CabaretCandyass

MC Jimmy Phule

Starring
Nat King Pole
Damiana Dolce
Diane Labelle
Roxie Hardon
Tommy Toxic
Mzz Vee(Vancouver)
Dawn Ford as Prudence the Librarian
Lili Lolipop
Trixie Cups

and MORE!

DJ
Stage kitten
Candygirl Clare

ENGLISH FOLLOWS
Un délectable buffet de divertissement à fois charmant et provocateur….un véritable festin pour vos yeux et vos oreilles.
Un délicieux mélange d’artistes au coeur du quartier historique de divertissement et de la Main.
Un brin de drag et une pincée de burlesque.

Courez la chance de gagner des prix médiocres dans nos concours!

Du burlesque, du chant de style “lounge”, de la dance et encore plus!
Du talent!

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The Candyass Club Cabaret presents a monthly cabaret with a stellar cast and new acts every 3rd Friday.
#thirdfridays
Featuring a tasty eclectic blend of artists in the heart of the historic entertainment district on the Main.

Members of our audience are randomly selected to partake in our silly contests to win incredibly mediocre prizes!

Comedy! Burlesque! Vaudeville!
Talent! Toupees!Whoopee !
Fun times ! Frolics !
*****************************************************

The Candyass Club Cabaret presents a monthly cabaret with a stellar cast and new acts every 3rd Friday.

 

Candyass Cabaret Presents Stumped In The City

Join us as we stumble over granite stumps ,collapsed caleche horses past neglected/ burned down historic buildings to enjoy performers at the iconic Cafe Cleopatra .
A scintillating lineup of boondoggle projects for an off #mtl375 cabaret

Showtime 10 pm Doors 9pm
Spectacle 22h portes 21h
Vendredi le 17 Nov
Friday Nov 17
1230 boul st laurent
Montreal

Featuring
Miss Curvy Beauty (France)
Damiana Dolce
Diane Labelle
Nat King Pole
Lili Lolipop
Classy Clare
Tania the Mexican Mime
Jacy Lafontaine
Roxie Hardon
James Douglas

and MORE!

DJ Martin
Stage Kitten Miss Enchante

Find us on Twitter https://twitter.com/CabaretCandyass

ENGLISH FOLLOWS
Un délectable buffet de divertissement à fois charmant et provocateur….un véritable festin pour vos yeux et vos oreilles.
Un délicieux mélange d’artistes au coeur du quartier historique de divertissement et de la Main.
Un brin de drag et une pincée de vaudeville

Courez la chance de gagner des prix mediocre dans nos concours!
Du talent! Celebrez votre annivesaire avec nous

**************************************
The Candyass Club Cabaret presents a monthly cabaret with a stellar cast and new acts every 3rd Friday.
#thirdfridays
Featuring a tasty eclectic blend of artists in the heart of the historic entertainment district on the Main.

Members of our audience are randomly selected to partake in our silly contests to win incredibly mediocre prizes!

Comedy! Burlesque! Vaudeville!
Talent! Whoopee!
Fun times !
*****************************************************

A Kristmas Gift From Gospoja Kandyass

Guess what!

We’ve got a little early Christmas present for you! Oh yes we do, we have a free ticket to December 20th’s Candyass Club Cabaret!

 

What?

The catch?

Well…. only that you’ve got to figure out where it is
before you can unwrap it.

Kandyass Geocache Burlesk coordinates:

N45.486982 W73.564086W

MidnightinMoscowGeoCash

Please note:
Any risk undertaken by anyone looking for this geocache is not the responsibility of Velma Candyass or the nut who placed them. Any charges laid for trespassing, injuries, damaged clothing, lost cell phones, STD’s contracted,angry skunks, sickness or injury as a result of searching for
this geocache are solely the responsibility of the person searching.

Happy Hunting!
xxDDxx

Candyass Club Cabaret – Nov – 2013

Vendredi le 8 novembre @ the legendary Café Cléopâtre
doors 21h00 / spectacle 22h00 / 10$ portes/door /
1230 boul. St.Laurent, Montreal, 514-816-8054
info: http://candyasscabaret.com/

Join us as our artists shake the Maple Leaves and shimmy those fleur de lys exploring Canadian and Quebec pop culture
MC Paula Davis
Delightful burlesque crooner Damiana Dolce!
Lady Hoops -sassy and sexy hooper
Diane LaBelle the sublime badass bellydancer
Jiji Goodwitch
Corey T.
La Chérie Coquette
Roxie Hardon

and more artists !

Agitez les feuilles d’erables et fleurs de lys !

DJ Franco will spin some tunes

ENGLISH FOLLOWS-

Un délectable buffet de divertissement à fois charmant et provocateur….un véritable festin pour vos yeux et vos oreilles.

Un délicieux mélange d’artistes au coeur du quartier historique de divertissement et de la Main.
Un brin de drag et une pincée de burlesque.

Bougez vos fesses et montrez nous vos nichons.

Courez la chance de gagner des prix merdiques dans nos concours!

Du burlesque, du chant de style “lounge”, de la dance et encore plus!
Du talent! Des tétons!!

Saoûlez vous avec le Cocktail Cléopâtre!!

Notre DJ vous fera bouger le cul après notre spectacle à la manière unique des DJ de bars de danseuses!

*********************************

A schmear of deliteful sometimes challenging entertainment
… for your eyes and ears to feast on.

A tasty blend of artists in the heart of the
historic entertainment district and the Main.
A dab of drag and a bissel of burlesque.

Win incredibly crappy prizes in our contest!
Get hauled up on stage kicking and screaming
non consentually for our contest

Strippy girls ,strippy boyz ,drag queens
burlesque lounge singers, dancers and more
Talent! Titties !

Get hammered on the Cleopatra Cocktail !!

Buy stuff you don’t need from our cute cigarette girl

The DJ will make you shimmy yer booty
after the show as only a stripclub DJ can !

http://candyassclub.com/

A Wink and a Wiggle

Saturday night was Andrea Hausmann‘s Signature Saturday at the Wiggle Room.

I opened the show but, much to my dismay, performed rather poorly, which threw me off a little in the beginning, but –

After tripping over a stage light, twisting my ankle and landing on both my knees. (Yes. That’s right. It happened AGAIN!!)

And making myself entirely vulnerable to the audience by sharing some of my deepest darkest secrets, openly cruising my sister’s doppelganger, asking the barmaid to marry me, and probably a bunch of other stuff that it’s best I don’t remember,

-I recovered some of my dignity, relaxed into the show, and redeemed myself soon enough.

I think.

Although it’s perfectly possible that my perspective was completely skewed. In which case I both blame and thank Seska Lee profusely for sending a constant supply of Dark and Stormys up to the stage.

Um, and can I just say:

1. That is the one drink on the menu that I was dying to try

AND

2. Those drinks have seriously got to be made out of the juice of virgin angels or something because MY GOD! Seriously?? My new favourite drink ever.
Rum, Ginger Beer, Lime, virgin angel juice, and I don’t know what else but I am making it my life mission to figure it out or lose my liver trying, because I’ve been feeling dark and stormy since the last one I drank wore off.

AND

3. Audience! Honestly! You were amazing! So much fun to perform for but also, so sweet and full of love for days following the show. Thank you for the kind words and compliments and facebook messages and friend requests! I am so glad to have met you and so very very glad that you enjoyed the show!

It was great fun to share the stage with the other talent. It was super cool to share a stage with Velma Candyass that wasn’t at our home base.

And the stage kitten and stage manager made the night go by so smoothly, and Andrea put on a great a show!
Big kisses to all three of them.

Can I just say also that if I didn’t completely blow it this weekend, and if anybody ever asks me to MC again, I am either going to do it wearing armour, or I’m investing in one of those invisible dog fences, and I’m going to program it to zap me as I near the edge of the stage, as a reminder to check for things like stairs, light fixtures, bodies, etc…

Some people spend the day after a show at the spa, or brunching with friends, or calling a pyjama day, to recover from all the stress and excitement.

I hang out in hospital waiting rooms. It’s pretty much my thing now.

Consolation gifts (Chocolate, flowers, wine, money etc…) can be left on the balcony outside my front door. No need to ring the doorbell (it makes the dog bark), I’ll be checking regularly.

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Blue Light Hôtel

An English description will follow:

LE Cabaret érotico-rétro-chic de Février!

“Blue Light Hôtel”

Venez vous réchauffer en notre compagnie ! Sortez vos plus beaux habits, on se fait chic pour venir voir vos effeuilleuses favorites!

Samedi 11 et 18 février 2012

Les billets sont en vente dès maintenant
30$ en prévente (+ frais de services)
ou 35$ à la porte (+ frais de service)
Portes 18h00
Spectacle 19h00 pile!
Café Campus, 57 Prince-Arthur E. 514-844-1010
Sur le Réseau Admission,514-790-1245

Fameux proverbe burlesquois :
“Achète tes billets en avance pour ne pas te cognez le nez à notre porte!”

**********
THE erotico-retro-chic Cabaret of February!
“Blue Light Hotel”

Brave the cold and warm up in our company. Dress up to the nines and arrivein style to catch your favourite burlesque dancers.
Resistance is futile! This is a show NOT TO BE MISSED!

Saturday February 11 and 18th 2012

TIckets are now on sale!
30$ in pre-sale (+service fees)
or 35$ at the door (+service fees)

Doors: 6pm ; Show: 7pm
Cafe Campus, 57 Prince-Arthur E. 514-844-1010
Through the Admission Network, 514-790-1245

Blue Light Burlesque’s “B Movie Extravaganza!”

Samedi 15 octobre
“B Movie Extravaganza!”

Portes 18h00. Spectacle 19h00

Les billets sont en vente dès maintenant 20$ en pré-vente (+ frais de services)
25$ à la porte (+ frais de service)

Café Campus , 57 Prince-Arthur E. 514-844-1010

Billets en prévente :
Café Campus (9h @ 17h la semaine) 514-844-1010
Sur le Réseau Admission, 514-790-1245
Ainsi que chez Glamour Montreal, 1695 St-Denis, (12h @ 17h la semaine)

Candyass Club Cabaret September 2011

A schmear of local entertainment
for your eyes and ears to feast on.

A dab of Drag kings ,Drag Queens to burlesque performers and quirky, light hearted tasty yet eclectic entertainment
Reena the Dragqueen is the hostess with the mostest and you just might see Ms Candyass MC a bit ;-)

bringing vaudeville and burlesque performances to the entertainment district
the 3rd friday of each month

doors open 9pm to get your drank on
showtime 9:30 pm
$10

welcoming to the stage-
Nat King Pole

Tommy Toxic

Damiana Dolce

Diane the sublime baladi dancer

Mlle A

dancing girls, dancing boyz ,cabaret dancers , singers,bad poets,bad actors,clowns and more

afterwards drink ,hang around and dance onstage to the tunes
spun by Cafe Cleo’s stripclub DJ
As only a strip club DJ can do ! Bruno ‘Le Boom Boom” Pelletier
Ticket : 10$

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Candy

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So… for those of you who attended the Montreal Burlesque Festival last night, I may or may not have promised to show anyone and everyone my boobs upon request, at any given time, in any given place.

As it turns out, flashing people in public is not yet legal in Montréal which, in all honesty, I find appalling.

In order to adequately compensate you all, I would like to offer you this song that I sang by donation. So go ahead and click on the cute little drawing of me bellow if you want Candy to have and to hold and to listen to whenever you like.

xxDDxx

Introduction:

As a burlesque performer, on tends to get loving messages and adorable fan mail.

Dear Damiana,
Last night’s show was great! Thanks for the good times, thanks for the memories etc…

Dear Damiana,
You’re so talented and beautiful etc…

Or the one a got a few days ago

“Damiana, my slutstress your whorish face makes my ******* quiver and my ***** tighten to the point of hot warm milk shooting out of my swollen 10 1/2 inch **** on your toes only to lick them clean and spit the *** back in your mouth for you to tongue kiss me with unadulterated lust….. mmmm you are my fantasy my slutstress”

Now that’s romance!

Anyway. I recently got an email from a woman who praised me for being beautiful, talented and glamorous (thank you) then made reference to me being a man-eater, leaving trails of emasculated men in my wake (fair enough), without a care in the world for the people I hurt (hey!) in the process. And she asked…

“What good is being glamorous, beautiful and talented if you live such a self serving, shallow and superficial life? How can you do a job so devoid of depth and real feeling? Sex is not love.”

Needless to say, I was a little hurt by the implications. I do have feelings, I swear!

And to prove it, I wrote this very deep, loving song about my deep loving feelings. Deep.
Enjoy.

▼ Listen ▼
Candy
 

 

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